So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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