My hair reeks of homosexuality.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
