If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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