Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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