There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
