I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
