Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
