i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
