pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
