I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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