love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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