She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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