All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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