I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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