Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
