was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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