That's intense
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You smell like a Billy Joel song
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
