all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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