apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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