Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
