Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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