This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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