A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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