once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
