yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
