you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize