How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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