Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
