Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
