Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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