I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize