??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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