just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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