i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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