I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
