they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
