You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
