WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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