No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
