How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
