it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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