i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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