they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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