goodnight i made you a song goodbye
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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