Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
