Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize