I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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