We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
