R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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