I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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