My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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