Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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