So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Enjoy the penises
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
