I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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