I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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