Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
This girl is more easily done than said...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize