You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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