Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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