This is not my ceiling
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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